I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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