Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
