If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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