No, drunk sperm still make babies.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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