I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
