marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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