It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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