he wants to bone in the snuggie
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
