He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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