and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
