I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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