I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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