my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize