so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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