just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize