ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
