Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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