when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
