So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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