Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
