My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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