Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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