i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize