I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
this hospital has no fireball
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
