i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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