dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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