How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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