I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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