I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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