He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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