He had one of those small greek statue penises
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
