I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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