im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize