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i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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