i just had sex bonerless
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
