Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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