i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize