YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize