so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
