Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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