I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
