When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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