Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
