Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
