you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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