I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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