I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
