i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
