there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got inside last night via doggy door
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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