"it" just moved
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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