I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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