haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
