life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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