This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
