I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Even my vagina gasped.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
