you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
PANTIES FOUND
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
