There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Text me some of your sweat
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
