New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
