do herpes really smell.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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