normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
