Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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