I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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