idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
