Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My ass is underappreciated
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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