Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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