I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Your cock deserves a montage
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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